“Infinite Possibilities.” Those words swallow me. “Possibility” is neutral, standing for a course of action, an alternative, a choice. “Infinite” is impossible to measure or quantify, and able to continue indefinitely.
My mind hits the skids when someone tells me my possibilities are endless. It grabs onto the words and begins an incessant chatter.
“How can I ever live up to my full potential? What best serves my life as well as the lives of those whom I touch? How do I maintain balance and pursue my desires? How do I squeeze in the things that keep my well-being in place? How can I possibly know where to expend my energy when there is so much to get done before I sleep? How can I pursue my possibilities and still get to the grocery store, pay the bills, make dinner, and spend quality time with those I love?”
“How many more roads can I take without wearing out?”
With that thought, I am frozen in place. I imagine that I stand in the Center of Infinity surrounded by mirrors. Each mirror is a door that I can step through and represents a possibility for my life, and each will take me down a different path. My mind attempts to make sense of my options, to choose the “best” door but all the doors reflect exactly the same image—ME. What should I do?
My mind continues its banter, “I am so blessed, so alive, so aware of my potential. Every day, I find some part of me yet waiting to be loved. I see within my own self a micro view of the world. I understand that what is within is also without, and that I am the center of the Universe and from this place, I can make positive long lasting changes. As I create peace within, then peace without is inevitable. As I embrace myself and my wounds, I embrace all who have been wounded. Intrinsic in every problem is the solution. Forget the questions and the answer will reveal itself. Infinite Possibilities abound!” … and so it goes, reciting one positive mantra or affirmation after another. All valid points, yes, but I am thinking them, not being them.
I am surrounded by All That Is Possible, and all I can muster are tears. The Lost One inside me reminds me of what happens when we make poor choices. The Critical One jumps in telling me that I cannot have it all, that something bad might happen if I make the wrong move. Before long, all The Voices of My Ego are chanting in unison warnings to keep me “safe, their word for “under control.
In this state of pure constriction, I am keenly aware of minutes ticking by. I relate to the assertion by many leaders in consciousness that time is compressing. I can feel quite overwhelmed at just considering what my most imminent possibilities are, never mind the infinite ones!
Those interminable infinite doors all beckon to me — but I don’t want to waste time or make a mess with my life.
Then I remember my art, reflecting on how I got started. While visiting my sister who is an accomplished artist, I was admiring her studio and the canvases in process. It looked so inviting! Moments later, Sis put three canvases on her easel, pointed to the paints and said, “Why don’t you try it?”
Why not? I had always thought painting looked like fun and I figured we would simply paint over whatever I had done at the end of the day so as not to waste the canvases. I had a blast playing in the paint, and three days flowed by. At the end, three paintings emerged from my efforts!
It would never have happened if I had worried about making a mess. Now, I make a big mess every time I paint and something magical comes from it — and times stands still.
Yes, but … I reflect on the haphazard patterns of my past. I would climb onto a bridge that looked interesting and jump. I did not look to see if there was water below or how it deep it was. I forgot that I did not swim very well. Sometimes I almost drowned in the circumstances I had jumped into with abandon. I floundered and flailed in an effort to keep my head above water. Often, I was fortunate to be tossed onto a rocky shore in time to save my life, bruised and exhausted but alive.
Some of the results from those times were amazing and wonderful as well. Still, my methods were action based, not center-based. Whatever the outcome, much energy was expended on backtracking or correcting my course. Even positive results required much hard work and tenacity. Stress was a constant component of both my defeats and my bounty. I can repeat my patterns and choose to run helter-skelter towards any door, flinging it open just for a peek and the fun of seeing what lies beyond. It is an option and it is exciting. …
On the other hand, when I meditate, dream, have a waking vision, or go somewhere camping or hiking far away from clocks, cell phones, computers or anyone reminding me of the time, then “time” seems to stretch out forever. A weekend in nature, focused on the sounds of the wind, water, and animals makes me aware of the vast space between my thoughts. That is the Infinite place. I trust it and I trust the choices I make when I tune into it.
The thing that I find most interesting about the infinite space is that when I do touch it, my questions fall away. When I am calm and centered, the Infinite caresses me and bids me welcome. I am grounded. The unknown is both beckoning and welcoming.
In this place, your joy will surface.
Take pleasure in all the choices you make.
Question not why or what you feel.
Notice and accept your feelings.
Choose the highest expression of your heart.
Donna P. Savage © 2004
In 2005 I made the choice to pursue my dreams in earnest. I left “the good life” behind because I felt like I was dying inside. I wanted to find my passion. I did not know WHAT that passion was, but I could feel it calling out to me. I had a general plan, but within one month of embarking on this mission, life took me on a new course.
The GIFTS that emerged from those first steps—people, places, events and personal growth—were not even on my radar screen when I began! My “new” life has brought challenges that some might believe eclipse those of my “old” life. However, looking at the world from inside out, learning to trust that inner guiding voice as the truth of “who I am,” has born in me a developing sense of joy and acceptance of the world and my place in it.
“The most important thing … is to give up who you are for who you can become.” This quote, paraphrased from a greeting card that I received years ago, is an excellent mantra for embracing the infinite possibilities within.
Imagine you are in the center of a circle. Its boundary represents the edge between your current life and your boundless possibilities of the Infinite. Something happens that stretches your perspective of yourself and the world. It may be joyous or traumatic, but either way you stretch beyond all you have known or perceived up until that time.
Your circle expands with you and becomes larger, now containing some possibilities that had once been beyond your reach or imagination. You have expanded. Your awareness is greater. You are more enlightened. You have grown. Again the boundary of your circle lies between you and your infinite possibilities. You now feel more empowered to move beyond your current limits.
Rarely do I look for “signs” anymore to direct my path, though I do heed messages and nudges that are directed to me. The sign I follow is the ease with which things flow. If they are skidding or stuck on a track, then I look inside myself for points of resistance and I work through it.
So, I sit in the Center of Infinity and allow the overwhelm to pass through like a great thunderstorm. I wait for the pulsing/sensing/feeling inside me to evoke a choice on the outside. A door will begin to stand out from the others. This is the one that I choose, making the path through the infinite maze of options clear as the guiding light of Consciousness shines from within my core.
No longer do I feel I am called to a path. Instead, my core voice calls my path to me. The Universe responds by sending more and more opportunities to match my desires, and may even surprise me with possibilities I have yet to imagine! Like painting!
Giving birth to the authenticity of one’s self is rarely achieved without heartache, trauma, or resistance— yet it creates change that supports our highest expression. Our shadow side acts as a gatekeeper to our greatest dreams. As my mentors are fond of saying, “Dear One, its fun to go through fear and come out the other side!”
Seeking out the positive in everything is a life affirming choice that also quickens an upbeat pattern of thinking and behavior. The more we affirm in our thoughts, words, and actions that which engages and delights us, the more openings we will have to express our passion. Tuning to our inner barometer, the awareness of infinite possibilities will serve to excite and ignite our spirits. We will move outward expanding the world around us from the Center of Infinity. Anything can happen!